


Supper Smash Bros: Mishonh from Trump: Teh Fite 2 Saev Amrica PARODY

by PrincessLink



Series: Super Smash Bros.: Mishonh From God [4]
Category: Super Smash Brothers
Genre: M/M, also raiden is snake and otacon's son, i make fun of snake/samus for no real reason, otasune makes me soft okay, snake and Samus are best friends, tags to be added once i remember what happens, there's a little bit of Raiden/ Rosemary, they’re mlm/wlw solidarity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:54:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23462785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessLink/pseuds/PrincessLink
Summary: A new Sara comes to the Smash Mansion to cause trouble.
Relationships: Otacon/Solid Snake
Series: Super Smash Bros.: Mishonh From God [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/298070





	1. Prologue: The Ultimate Reboot

Prologue  
The Ultimate Reboot

It was a normal day at Nintendo. Sakurai and his Smash team were busy doing last minute stuff, when a receptionist came in.  
"Mr. Sakurai, there's someone here to see you," the receptionist said.  
"Who?" Sakurai asked.  
"Uh, a woman, really short, looks half-white, uh..."  
"Oh no," Sakurai said, "It's her."  
"Her?" the receptionist asked.  
Melanie kicked down the door.  
"Yo, Massive Hero Soccer Guy!" she yelled.  
"How 'bout you DON'T ever call me that again," Sakurai groaned.  
"Mash Potato Samurai," I added.  
"Seriously," Melanie groaned, "That's the best you could come up with?"  
"Yeah?" I said, "So?"  
"Oh my God," Sakurai groaned, "What do you want?"  
"Okay, so, you remember me, right?" Melanie asked, "Mishonh from God?"  
"Let me guess. You wanna write another story, but you don't want the Smash 6 roster to be all Fire Emblem and Kid Icarus?" Sakurai asked boredly.  
"Yeeeaaaah," Melanie said, "Can I? Pleeeeeaaaaase?"  
Sakurai sighed, "Whatever."  
"Yaaaay!" Melanie said, "Anyway, since the last fic ended with Sara learning some lessons, this one'll be a reboot. Everyone'll be the same age they were in the first fic. Also..."  
She snapped her fingers, and we were transported to OG Sara's universe, which we'll call Earth-616-2, talking to her Sakurai.  
"Who are you?" he asked us.  
"Mr. Sakurai, what's happening at Nintendo?" Melanie asked.  
"Well, since Fire Emblem's gotten so popular, we've decided to remake all the older games , starting with the Tellius games."  
"What about New Mystery?" I asked curiously.  
"It's being ported to the Switch, and there's gonna be a special bundle with the Shadow Dragon remake. PLUS, there's gonna be a Fates Complete Edition for the Switch."  
I squeaked happily. Melanie glared at me.  
"Okay, what about Smash?" Melanie asked, "Any new characters revealed lately?"  
"If you're asking whether the Grinch Leak is real, it's not," Sakurai said, "That was stupid."  
"Yeah," I agreed.  
"Do you even KNOW who was in the Grinch Leak?" Melanie asked.  
"Nope!" I said proudly, "I don't pay attention to leaks, 'cause most of the time they're wrong, far as I can tell."  
Melanie and Sakurai were silent.  
"Well, who're the last two characters?" Melanie asked.  
"I can't tell you," Sakurai groaned.  
"RUNE FACTORY!" I yelled.  
Melanie jumped.  
"No," Sakurai said.  
"But... Rune Factory 4 Special... and Rune Factory 5," I pouted, "What about... Flamethrower Mei Ling?"  
"What?" Melanie asked blankly.  
"No," Sakurai groaned.  
"Ooh, wait, what's goin' on with Metal Gear?" I asked.  
"Well, Kojima got the rights back, and he confirmed that Snake and Otacon were a couple. Twin Snakes is getting ported to the Switch, and there's gonna be a new game with Solid Snake."  
"David!" I yelled.  
"Also, they're making Metal Gear Rising 2, which Solid Snake will appear in because he didn't actually die after Metal Gear Solid 4."

Anyway, the point of all this was to make a new universe, which we'll call Earth-616-3.


	2. Chapter 1: Teh Mison 2 Saev Tha Predsent

Chapter 1  
Teh Mison 2 Saev Tha Predsent

Sara was at lunch when she saw Becky going around with a petition. Sara stormed up to her.  
"What's that for?" she demanded.  
"I think we should change the name of the school," Becky said calmly, "Strom Thurmond was racist, and we shouldn't be endorsing him."  
"Are you TRIGGERED libtard?" Sara asked.  
"Woah, okay," Lauren, Sara's best friend, interrupted, "Not cool."  
Sara grabbed Becky's petition and tore it up.  
"Sara!" Lauren scolded.  
Becky glared at Sara, then turned and left.

A few minutes later, Sara was called to the principal's office.  
"Ms. Osborne, WHY did you rip up Becky's petition?" Mr. Johnson, the principal, asked.  
"'Cause she's a stupid, communist, SJW, libtard," Sara said.  
Mr. Johnson sighed.  
"Sara, I'm suspending you for the rest of the week," he said.  
"Wait 'till my father hears about this!" Sara yelled.  
Her father was the police chief, and one a' those racist bitch cops.

Sara stormed out of school and a big fancy limo pulled up. Gay Short-Shorts Mike Pence got out.  
"Sara, you have to help me!" he said, "Donald Trump has been kidnapped by Hillary Clinton!"   
"HILLARY CLINTON!?" Sara screamed.  
Gay Short-Shorts Mike Pence winced.  
"Uh, yeah," he said.  
"But why me?" Sara asked.  
"'Cause you're a Mary Sue," GSSMP said casually.  
"Great," Sara said excitedly, "I'll go grab my stuff."  
"There's, uh, no time!" GSSMP said.  
"But... all I have are my taser and my dad's gun," Sara whined.  
"You bring THOSE to school?" GSSMP asked, "Er, I mean, good job, exercising the not at all unnecessary Second Ammendment!"  
Sara beamed.  
"Okay, we have to go to Russia because Putin!" GSSMP said.  
"Okay," Sara said.  
So they got into the limo to drive to Russia (Raiden's house), but they got lost and ended up in Mexico.  
"Hello," the border person said.  
"Oh no!" Sara yelled, "They're gonna rap me!"   
"Nope!" yelled a voice.  
Sara saw Shulk, Lucina, Snake, and Hal Emmerich.  
"Sorry, this whole situation was a mistake," Hal said.  
"Oh my God," the border person groaned.  
"Tell me about it," said Snake, who was covered in the Inklings's ink.  
"We need to go to Russia," Sara said.  
So they all got back into the limo. Snake had to sit on a tarp 'cause of all the ink.

They got to Raiden's house... but he wasn't there!"  
"Where's Putin?" Sara asked.  
"Pution?" asked Rosemary, "Vladimir Putin?" How would I know?"  
"Stalin!" Sara screamed.  
"Where's Raiden?" Snake whispered to Rosemary.  
"Food shopping," she said casually, "Why're you covered in paint?"  
"Please don't question it," Snake sighed.  
"Wait, aren't you worried he'll get lost?" Hal asked.  
"Nah, he's got the kids," Rose shrugged.  
"Ah." Hal nodded.  
"Hey, can I use your shower?" Snake asked.  
"No," Rose said, "You're just gonna end up having sex with Hal."  
Snake shrugged.  
"Oh yeah, and I work for George Sears now," Rose said, "Or whatever."  
"Oh noooo!" Sara yelled, "Not George Sears!"  
"He was a Republican, though," Hal said.  
Snake shushed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had no idea who George Stephanopolous (or however his name's spelled) was, so I replaced him with George Sears.


	3. Chapter 2: Enterin Neontindo Word

Chapter 2  
Enterin Neontindo Word

Our Heroes went to the supermarket. They found Raiden pretty quickly because he was wearing a trans pride t-shirt and a sombrero, and was being yelled at by his son, Little John. Meanwhile, his baby daughter, Sage, was cheerily playing with one of his fingers, which had gotten detached.  
"Hey, Raiden," Hal said.  
"Hi!" Raiden said excitedly.  
"We're here to save you!" Sara said.  
Raiden stared at her.  
"Do I know you?" he asked.  
He tried to point at her, but then realized Sage had his finger. He grabbed it back and shoved it on. It was backwards.  
"Definitely not," Hal said quickly.  
"What...?" Raiden said, fixing his finger.  
Snake ran off with Hal.  
"What?" Raiden said.  
Just then, a dragon appeared. It was pretty obviously two people in a crappy Halloween costume.  
"Stop moving your legs," one of the people said, "You keep kicking me."  
"Sorry," said the other person.  
"Who... are you?" Raiden asked.  
"I'm the Antifa Dragon!" said the people in the dragon costume.  
They struck a very anime pose.  
"Okay then," Shulk said.  
Lucina shook her head, laughing.  
"Oh no!" Sara yelled.  
"We're gonna defeat you AND fascism!" the Antifa Dragon said cheerfully, "'Cause that's what antifa is!"  
Sara screamed.  
"You're the real fascists 'cause you break windows and stuff!" she said.  
"Whatever," the Antifa Dragon said and left.  
Snake and Hal came back.  
"Okay, time to go to Smash," Snake announced.  
They opened a portal to Smash.  
"Say goodbye to Grandpas," Raiden told his kids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder who the Antifa Dragon is.


	4. Chapter 3: Tha Smush Mention

Chapter 3  
Tha Smush Mention

They got out of the portal and saw the rest of the Smash Bros.  
"Is this a conservative?" Sara asked, pointing to Bayonetta.  
"No, Darling," Bayonetta said, "I'm a lesbian."  
"Oh no!" Sara yelled.  
Samus and Snake were having an argument over which one of them had to pretend to be straight.  
"You don't even have a girlfriend," Snake said, "Here, I mean."  
"Fair enough," Samus said.  
They went over to Sara.  
"I'm straight and he's gay," Samus told her.  
"Are you pregnant?" Sara yelled.  
"Uh, yeah," said Samus, who was around five months pregnant.  
"Who's the father?" Sara demanded.  
Hal and Snake raised their hands, because Samus was acting as a surrogate for them.  
"Snake and Samus are married," Sara said cheerfully.  
Snake groaned.  
"Hey Honey," Samus, grinning mischievously.  
"Yo," Snake said.  
They kissed and immediately started gagging.  
"Oh God, do you EVER shave?" Samus asked, "God that's an awful feeling."  
"That was like kissing my sister," Snake groaned.  
Hal announced, "I'm tired and bi."  
"Is that like being gay?" Sara asked.  
"Yup," Hal said proudly.  
"He's been trying to seduce me seduce me," Snake said boredly, "He's like a friggin' Incubus, or whatever. Somehow he discovered my weakness for cute, nerdy guys."  
Hal beamed.  
"Wait what's an Incubus?" Samus asked.  
"Seriously?" Snake laughed.  
"To be fair, I only know what they are 'cause of Zelda," Hal said.  
Snake stared at him.  
"The Diabolical Cubus Sisters," he added.  
"Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. 180 IQ," Samus said sarcastically.  
"It's not- y'know what, not important," Snake said, "Can we go inside? I'm tired."  
"Sure," Samus snickered, "Dad Bod."  
"I do NOT have a dad bod," Snake protested.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea of Samus being pregnant is really weird to me, but whatever. Also, yes, I was making fun of Snake/Samus because it's the most heteronormative bullshit I've ever seen.


	5. Chapter 4: Sarsas Frost Mitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a chance that the chapter title was a misspelling on my part. I honestly can't remember.

Chapter 4  
Sarsas Frost Mitch

It was Sara's first match. She was fighting King K Rool and Incineroar alongside Ridley. But Ridley had a cold, so he got replace with Snake. Anyway.

Snake threw a grenande, but it hit Sara instead.  
"For fecks sake," he groaned.  
Sara tried to hit K Rool with her taser, but she accidentally hit Snake instead.  
"Oh my God," he groaned.  
Then Sara fell off the stage. K Rool and Incineroar started beating Snake up until he flew off the stage.  
"Blue Team wins!" the announcer said.

"Well, Sara's completely incompetent," Snake told Hal.  
Then they started making out. Sara walked by.  
"Snake!" she screamed, "Think of your wife!"  
"I am," Sanke said.  
"Excuse you!" Hal said, pretending to be offended.  
He swatted Snake's shoulder.  
"Oh, I'm dying," Snake deadpanned.  
"Stop," Hal said, "Don't joke about stuff like that."  
"But you killed me," Snake said grinning, "'Cause you're so cute."  
"Shut up," Hal pouted.  
Snake pulled him into a hug.

Then Galleem showed up. But they were a cute anime girl with wings because I'm gay. It's their depowered form, okay.  
"Hello," Galleem said, flipping their platinum blonde hair.  
Then they released a beam of light, trying to once again kill all the Smash Bros. Fortunately, they were depowered, so they only managed to temporarily discorporate a handful, including Snake.  
"Well, that's unfortunate," Galleem shrugged, "Anyway."  
They flew off, then turned back.  
"Come find me!" they called and then flew away.  
Hal started panicking, and Shulk and Lucina hugged him.


	6. Chapter 5: Jerny 2 Gollum's Hose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written around the time Three Houses first came out, and before the DLC added I think two new gay options.

Chapter 5  
Jerny to Gollum's Hose

Sara got everyone ready to go fight Galleem, but they didn't know where they were.  
"What about LA," offered Hal, who'd been set up with Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood and Fire Emblem Three Houses in an effort to stop his panic attack. It seemed to be working.  
"Why LA?" Lucina asked.  
"'Cause I can't hear gay, I can't see gay, gay gay gay," Hal sang.  
"That's N LA," I pointed out.  
"Same difference." Hal shrugged.

So they went to LA and saw a polyamorous couple just being happy.  
"Stop doing that right now!" Sara yelled at them.  
They flipped her off and continued on their merry way.  
"Did you know that you can't even marry Alois and Gilbert?" Hal said, shaking his head, "And they're supposed to be the gay options."  
"Did you know that Gilbert has the same voice actor as Psycho Mantis?" I asked him.  
"Seriously?" he asked.  
"Yeah," I said, "Doug Stone."  
"Ew." Hal wrinkled his nose. "Okay, never mind. I don't wanna marry him."  
"Anyway, Dorothea is Best Girl and I'm so glad I can gay marry her. Also her voice actress is bisexual," I said, "And Three House's gay options're better then Fates's, at the very least."  
"Can you two focus?" Lucina yelled.  
"Sorry," Hal said sheepishly "...I miss Dave."  
"Yeah, that's why you need to FOCUS," Lucina deadpanned.  
Hal pouted.

Sara knocked on a door. Two women answered.  
"Do you know where Galleem is?" Sara asked.  
"Uh... no," said the first woman.  
"Who... is that?" the second woman asked.  
It turned out that the women were a lesbian couple, and Sara freaked out. Then they found a flyer for a party at Galleem's house.

They arrived at Galleem's house. Sara knocked on the door.  
"What do you want?" Galleem answered, looking like they'd just woken up.  
Give us back our friends!" Sara yelled.  
"No," Galleem said and slammed the door.  
"Time for a new plan!" Sara announced.  
Hal started panicking again.

**Author's Note:**

> This was all relevent when I wrote it.


End file.
